• There are a lot of schools where one can get a great education. For a student to really thrive and do their best, the fit has to be right . When it is, the student will have a great four years, build their confidence, and be ready to embrace a future full of challenges, opportunities, and adventures.
• Curiosity fuels learning. Is intellectual curiosity valued at home? Always having the right answer inspires memorization but developing the confidence to ask great questions is what inspires true learning.
• Self-authorship also fuels learning . This is the ability to build confidence by writing and articulating one’s own story. Unfortunately and through the best of intentions, many parents will do for their high school and college age children instead of doing with their children. This can inhibit their children’s ability to learn from their own successes and their failures. Learning how to write well, figure out a problem without a clear answer, have the confidence to fail and then learn how build the resolve to do better…these and other challenges are best learned when parents view their roles as partners instead of helicopter pilots ready and willing to swoop down and solve every problem for their child.
• Visiting schools is a bit like dating , everyone is trying to show the best of who they are. Do the research and look beyond what they tell you on the website or on the tour. Alumni giving is seldom considered though it is an important indicator. How many times have you bought something that, even after you paid for it, you were so impressed you volunteered to pay even more for it? Alumni giving is a great measure of how much value previous clients place on their experience as a student.
• College admissions staff are not impressed by the smorgasbord approach —the student who does everything and then tries to list all of this in their college essays. Consider the words of T.S. Eliot “We had the experience but missed the meaning.” What’s impressive is the student who is passionate about what they do and can articulate that passion in meaningful ways. However, articulating these things is not a skill that can be turned on when it is time to write the essay. It needs to be practiced along the way. Instead of asking how your child’s day was, ask them to reflect on their experience , what they learned, why they do or don’t value the experience, etc. Once they do, ask them to write and/or tell you about it.
• When considering fit, be realistic about affordability . What is the actual price versus the sticker price? There are many financial aid questions that need to be carefully considered. This includes the possibility that a lack of course availability may result in the student needing five or even six years to graduate. There are times when the total cost of attendance may actually be more expensive at a public institution than a private one.
• Most students don’t know what they are going to do on Friday night, why do we expect them to know what they are going to do for the rest of their lives? Few students keep the same major throughout all four years. Often the best idea during the first year of college is to focus primarily (though often not solely) on the liberal arts curriculum so they can better prepare for the full range of possibilities life’s path will present to them. 
• Research clearly demonstrates that students who engage with their faculty after class, during office hours, and/or around campus tend to have higher GPAs and are more likely to graduate. Encouraging your children to engage with their teachers in high school will help build their confidence and increase the likelihood that they will continue to engage with their faculty as college students.
• Every college has an office for academic support services. Often times students think they are too smart to use those services. Research continues to demonstrate that students who use academic support services in college tend to have higher GPAs than students who do not use these services. No one is good in every subject. While they are still in high school, teach your child to view academic support services as the choice the smart students make.
• Life will not suddenly become a rose garden because your child is in college. There will be many challenges. If you only focus on the process of getting to college, you and your child will be unprepared for the many challenges that take place throughout college.
• If you are reading this and your only goal for your kid’s choice of where to go is to get a good job, you will be overpaying for college!
• The first term in college is the most important. It’s vital that your child fully participates in new student orientation and if parent/family orientation is offered as well, make every effort to attend. These experiences provide important guideposts for student and family success throughout college.
• Students who get immersed in college life through involvement in co-curricular and extracurricular activities tend to get higher grades, are more likely to graduate, more likely to report higher levels of career satisfaction, and are more likely to donate to their alma mater.

The Deanly Chat consists of original pieces by Dr. Jeff Ederer and Denise KupetzConversations with and stories by professional colleagues who are experts in their fieldFacebook Live eventsDiscussion and answers about college admissions and student success (If you have a question you want answered,   click here  ) Discussion and editorials about current events in educationOccasional pieces that don’t fit a prescribed structure.